


Nothing Without You

by NovaCherryCola



Series: Cazriel prompts (tumblr) [2]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wing Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 17:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18744124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaCherryCola/pseuds/NovaCherryCola
Summary: Written for the prompt “If the choice comes down to my life or yours, I’m always going to choose yours.” + “Forever means nothing to me if I don’t get to spend it with you.”Cassian had thrown himself in the line of fire, again, this time for Azriel. Azriel doesn't take it perfectly.





	Nothing Without You

Everything, everything hurts. That is the first thing he notices, as Cassian blinks blearily into consciousness, his body screeching at him, the light burning even from beneath his eyelids. The Illyrian groans, pain and awareness washing over him in waves, limbs twitching beneath swathes of bandages.

“About time you woke up.” Someone says, voice groggy.

Cassian turns his head slowly, carefully, vision swimming, to stare at Azriel. Azriel, disheveled and exhausted-looking, who rubs at his stubble and blinks tiredly at him. He glares at Cassian.

“Az.” Cassian says, his voice breaking under the strain of his bone-dry throat, and Azriel’s glare melts.

Azriel’s scarred hand finds Cassian’s, and Cass’ heart thumps loudly in his ears as Azriel rests his head next to his on the cot.

“Self sacrificing idiot.” Azriel bites. His fingers interlace with Cassian’s tightly; his lips are pinched, his brows drawn in the classic “unhappy Az” expression, but his hazel eyes are warm with emotion.

Cassian groans as he rolls to face him, and sighs as he settles into place. Az shuffles in his chair.

“Good morning to you, too.” Cassian pulls his mouth into the best approximation of a charming grin that he can manage without it stinging. Azriel stays silent, his palm warm against Cassian’s, and his gaze rakes over Cassian’s face, over and over. “I must look like hell, huh?” Cassian laughs, then winces.

Azriel says nothing.

“Az?” Cassian feels his heart drop, loses the smile. “Azriel, please, talk to me.”

Azriel loosens his grip on Cassian’s hand, and begins to leave.

“Azriel,” Cassian barks, reaching for him even as his body screams in regret, “please.”

He pauses. Silhouetted by the morning light in the dreary, cramped tent, back tensed and hands clenched, his wings trembling as he bows his head.

“It’s my fault.” He hisses. Azriel whirls to face him, his eyes ablaze, shadows swirling around him. “I was meant to take that hit, I was meant to get hurt. But you-” He stalks forward, jabs a finger at him- “you prick, you took it for me. Now look at you. And I was so-”

His eyes are limned with silver, and Cassian feels his own hot with emotion. Azriel slumps into the chair by the side of his cot. He rubs at the days-old shadow on his face, staring at the floor.

“I was so worried, Cassian.” Azriel murmurs, voice thick.

The tent is silent, for a moment, the air laden with a pause that could signal anything, anything at all.

“I’m not sorry. You’re… my friend, Azriel. I didn’t have a lot of those, growing up, and you are always going to be precious to me.” He swallows. “If the choice comes down to my life or yours, I’m always going to choose yours.”

“You fucking…” Azriel hisses. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“I guess I don’t.” Cassian bites.

“Why would your life ever mean less than mine, you conceited prick?” Azriel snarls as he leans in close to Cassian’s space.

“You have forever to grow, Azriel.” Cassian grabs at his hand, grasp tight as he meets his gaze, unflinching. “You shouldn’t throw that away just because you think you’re not worthy of it.”

“I could say the same to you!”

Cassian lunges forward, smashing his mouth against his friend’s, the tang of iron coating his tongue. Even if it’s not nice or gentle, or anything he might have wanted, it is theirs- even if Azriel freezes against him and Cassian feels regret slam into him harder than any fist or weapon ever had.

Cassian pants, parting from him, and they stare at each other.

“You have forever, Azriel.” Cassian swallows, taking his hand from him. “I just want you to be there to use it.”

Azriel’s hand shakes as it cups Cassian’s cheek, and Cassian lets him. Lets him slowly, achingly slowly, lean forward, until their lips brush sweetly together. Kisses him back, in that dingy tent, covered in bandages.

Azriel rests his forehead against Cassian’s, his mouth burning.

“You don’t get it. Forever means nothing to me if I don’t get to spend it with you.”

Cassian feels the breath rush out of him at the admission.

“I hope you don’t expect me to play it safe from now on.” Cassian says, and feels Azriel’s chest rumble with laughter.

“I guess I’ll just have to keep you out of trouble.” Azriel says, resting his chin on the crown of Cassian’s head; He tucks Cas into himself and extends his wings enough to shroud them both, like they are the only two in the entire damn world.

“I guess.” Cassian says, and relaxes into him. Smiles.

He’s looking forward to forever.


End file.
